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Part II - Gaarding Your Health on Aardwolf There are a lot of rumors out there about the intimate habits of MUDders, but little proof to back up the wild claims. Recently, Dr. Beverly Crusher from the Sick Bay in ST:TNG. Here's what she had to say: Dr. C: As a woman, intimacy and the effects of Aardwolf are very important to me. I don't get off this ship much, so most of my research is done from here. Most recently, I conducted a study on the effectiveness of Aardwolf as a method of pregnancy prevention, in conjunction with other specialists from around the bigmap. VL: Aardwolf as birth control? That sounds like something straight out of Daoine. Dr. C: Actually, there are many players that, using Aardwolf properly, have maintained a state of non-pregnancy. In some cases, there is even complete non-intimacy beyond a normal consideration of abstinence. We're seeing instances where people are executing non-contact to surprising degrees - including a lack of chaste hugs and friendly handshakes. VL: Where does the effect stem from? Are people replacing this physical contact with virtual stimulation? Dr. C: A percentage of them are, which is evident in graphic mischans and lewd manor items, but over half of the participants of this study simply follow a strict regimen that creates this effect. In order for Aardwolf to be most successful as a method of pregnancy prevention, users really have to keep up with it, actively utilizing it for 16-18 hours each day. Once a person is up to this dosage, they are 98.4% less likely to experience risk of pregnancy. Much like IUDs, we can't pinpoint the exact reason why this works the way it does, and we expect it's likely a combination of factors. VL: So, it isn't fool proof. What are the risks that come along with this imperfect method? Dr. C: It's important to remember that nothing is foolproof when it comes to conception, and contraception. Compared to hormonal and surgical therapies, most people find the side effects and risks to be minimal and easily tolerated. Some of the most reported side effects were insomnia, drowsiness, decline of personal hygiene, confusion and spontaneous laughter. Admittedly, we see some drastic dietary changes ranging from weight loss, to weight gain, to extreme cases of malnutrition - but those tend to occur in people who are using higher than recommended dosage, and are substituting food for caffeine and nicotine. Rare instances of sensitivity to light have been reported, however other studies are finding more information leading us to conclude those would exist with or without the use of this method. VL: Those sound like some pretty serious issues. What about long-term use? Dr. C: For people wishing to eventually conceive, this works great as a short-term method. I'm currently examining subjects that have been doing this for over 10 years, and wondering if some of the effects will be reversible. One expert says there is a 'no turning back' point that happens just before a personal starts saying 'lolx'. Another claims it happens around the middle of t4. More time and research is needed to confirm either. VL: Sounds pretty standard for modern medicine. Anything else you can tell us about your findings? Dr. C: Don't get the wrong idea, most healthy people tolerate this regimen really well, and even more people are able to enjoy Aardwolf in lesser doses. They may not receive the same contraceptive benefits, but the risks are lessened then. It's important to remember that this study was focused only on the effect of preventing pregnancy, and the question of exposure to disease and infection hasn't been addressed yet. |
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