Heavily redacted results arrived at Gaardian's main office recently along with a statement granting us permission to report certain details of the study as long as we did not publish specific inflammatory numbers data, as described in the following comment:
 

      "...Significant time passed before anyone realized the power of a nonsense word like 'pimpslap', currently being used in damage mode 2. Since the implementation of this mode, we have come to expect other nonsense words may have similar or equal power, particularly as language and vocabulary is evolving at such an impressive rate. However, we were not prepared for the results our data has produced to date. At this time, we believe a minimum of 1500 additional research hours will be needed to provide our completed findings on the matter..." 

  And so, in an intentionally random and non-hierarchical Top 10 List, we bring you the most significant candidates from the lab:

   10. Your thwack dubsteps an unsuspecting guinea pig!

    9. Your bash shizzles a worn-out lab rat!

    8. Your pierce chillaxes a scared-looking mouse!

    7. Your digestion photobombs a tired primate!

    6. Your slash illifies a hyped-up hamster!

    5. Your beating #hashtags a compliant wallaby!

    4. Your stab trololos an apathetic humanoid!

    3. Your thrust facepalms a beastly fido!

    2. Your wail cray-crays a trio of sneaky weasels!

    1. Your blast unlikes an animated fungi!

   Which words are simply nonsense and which words hold special combative properties? Stay tuned to Gaardian.com for futher information as it is released.