WTB: Island of Lost Time. For the setting of a new and different reality program. Contact Mark Burnett.

OPEN AUDITIONS: Now casting for reality program. Seeking tempers, cattiness, and extreme superiority complexes. Contact Crimson.

ACQUIRING: Services of locksmith. Needed to replace lock on front door. Citizen of Midgaard.

WANTED: Source code for Aardwolf MUD. For educational purposes only. Contact Professor Wigglebottom, Department of Computer Science.

SEEKING: New spouse. Preferably potent this time. Contact Shorkan.

WTS: 500 used condom wrappers. Must buy in bulk. Contact Ivar.
 

WTB: New bed. Contact Hawt chix0r.

SEEKING: Safe haven from Xantcha's wrath. Please leave note with receptionist at Gaardian's front desk.

WTB: House of gold. Must have gold walls, gold floors, and especially a gold toilet. Contact MR. Jack.

SELLING: The *Real* AQ solution for Orchard. Seek Eric, the half-a-bee.

WANTED: Classified ad writer. Preferably human, but will accept vampires and other hairy creatures. Must speak English. Contact Gaardian.