10. A cubicle jockey from the north reported a torn rotator cuff after an incident involving projectile periphials following a timed-out quest.

9. Insurance investigators are waiting to interview a sportsman that allegedly misunderstood the 'map' to believe it is a series of complicated plays, resulting in a still not fully explained head injury.

8. A recently deleted newbie claims they experienced symptoms similar to a mild seizure after being dragged by a couple of T9's for the first time.

7. Anonymous medical charts recently released indicated an increased risk of injury by over-lollercising.

6. Professionals are still struggling to define the criteria that determines the level of damage caused by a PK attack.

5. One collision left behind four victims as the leader failed to check both ways before running n4wnes2esw.

4. Panic ensued briefly in one incident as cries of distress about 'bleeding' arose; further information clarified it was merely 'color bleeding'.

3. Leaked documents from a legal dispute detailed an angry Gaardian reader seeking damages for suffering a ruptured eardrum after calling to inquire about the next issue release date.

2. Happy dance with care - yesterday's triple gq winner was spotted later this morning, recovering from a sprained right knee.

1. Phsyical trainers recommend equal training of both sides of the body so if you are into one-handed typing, make sure to alternate hands to avoid lopsided development.