So, you've found yourself clanless.
Again.
You really should stop teabagging the leaders for hours upon end. People generally don't enjoy having virtual ballsacks shoved in their face.
Please tell me it was virtual...
Anyway. You need a new clan.
You've got quite a selection. Unfortunately for you, there is no clan that follows the theme of Japanese schoolgirls being raped by monsters with tentacle-like appendages, so you will just have to make a choice from what is available. Let's start from there.

You've got to choose between PK and NoPK. Tough choice.

NoPK
You live life just like everyone else. Sure, you don't have the uber fun raids, the awesome equipment and whatever else comes, but you don't have the threat of constantly being culled by players who feel they need to increase the size of their virtual penis by virtually teabagging you. Sure, you get plenty of 'STFU, N00B! Join a real clan! lolololol'. Meh.

PK
You get uber1337 equipment. d00d, that extra 3hr was so worth those three days you spent at your computer planning that raid on Rogues. Just kidding. PK can be quite fun! You get friendly sparring with people online, as well as the not-so-friendly sparring with the rest of the losers t9 clan members. The equipment, raiding and prestige are pretty cool.

Now it is just a clan. Let us look at the pros and cons of various clans.

The Wolf Administration
Pros
You join the ranks of Lasher, Xantcha, Halo and Daeric, have the awesome powers, items and general awesomeness of being an administrator on an online game.
Cons
Say goodbye to whatever social life you thought you might have once had. Oh, and unless you MUD outside, the same can be said for sunlight.

The Fellowship of Twin Lobes
Pros
You join a clan that was founded on the idea of the brilliance of the human mind.
Cons
As with anywhere in the clan, intellectual snobbishness should probably be a prerequisite.

The Watchmen of Aardwolf
Pros
Joining a clan founded on helping the general MUD population.
Cons
IdiotNewb tells you 'CR in deths gate plz!'

Chapter Honorary - Alliance of Spellcasters
Pros
If you are a spellcaster, you are in your personal nirvana. This clan is built to accomodate the likes of you and your kind. Rest easy, conjure up a martini.
Cons
Kirgas

The Seekers
Pros
A clan of people who actually know a nice amount about the MUD. The food is actually pretty good too
Cons
The logo is out of place. Mardi Gras was an little while ago

The Order of Shadokil
Pros
When you join this clan, you will find that there is indeed honour amongst thieves. They'll fido you as many potions as you need.
Cons
The dagger in your back after you wake up. Kinda stings.

The Emerald Knights
Pros
You get to live in an awesome castle. You have knights and swords and stuff and cool and lol.
Cons
Green will never be the new black.

The Order of Light
Pros
You go good. You get a ton of clannies. And your clan equipment is just pure awesome.
Cons
Apparently your race is not good enough. Racist bastards...

Order of the White Dragon
Pros
Allies, lots of allies
Cons
You cannot actually pimp a dragon

The Children of Baalzamon
Pros
With its ideas taken from the Wheel of Time series, this clan is one of the more active at the moment. Many computers have been crashed after 'who baal'ing
Cons
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The Hook Clan
Pros
Rum, booty and treasure, need I say more?
Cons
Ninjas

Order of the Bard
Pros
You love a good story, and there is no better place to come than here. You can express yourself in comfort.
Cons
Your clanhall is a more effective maze than anywhere else.

Crusaders of the Nameless One
Pros
Another clan to help the MUD. You have some nice clan equipment too!
Cons
What the hell are you crusading for?

The Xunti Cult
Pros
Everyone says that the game is only made up of 186 levels. Wait until you're in Opochtli's range.
Cons
Aztecs are dead. Something about names like Weaselequptaxzticquia...

Clan Imperium
Pros
A fairly large clan, nice amount of allies and fairly laid back.
Cons
You all bicker like children. Chuft. Majic's cooking may be gone, but its smell lingers.

The Crimson Horde
Pros
You get to wear those awesome Viking helmets. Nothing says awesome quite like horns.
Cons
Forget the pillage, this one is all about the rape.

The Daoine Sidhe
Pros
Yay, Faeries! Break in through the back door! Fun!
Cons
Eww, Fairies... Break in through the back door?

Retribution
Pros
All about the 1337ness
Cons
30% less 1337 than before.

Vanir
Pros
A clan that still sticks to its original theme. Nice for the emo kids who want to be evil in an online game.
Cons
I really don't want to say Skinner. Meh. You'll have money, won't you?

The Great Circle of Druids
Pros
You get back to nature. Sleeping outdoors, body hair and trees.
Cons
Trees are really not that good in bed.

Disciples of Hassan
Pros
A great way to get into clan life. Supportive leaders to tell you all about the game and help you all around.
Cons
Vaun is no longer with you. U r hav no funny.

Sisterhood of Amazon Warriors
Pros
You can bash men all you want. Surrrounded by female warriors, you have sisterly pride.
Cons
They should really be the ones to have the Brotherhood clanskill...

The Soul Pyre
Pros
The dark, swirling abyss that is your soul yearns to join this clan so you can share the pain inside.
Cons
No one looks good in their little sister's jeans.

The Society of Tanelorn
Pros
A clan built around peace. No news really is good news.
Cons
You may never get the chance to go Samuel L Jackson or impersonate Bruce Willis.

Enlightened Brotherhood of the Dominion
Pros
...
Cons
...

Masaki Clan
Pros
You get to be a totally sweet ninja and flip out and kill people and stuff!
Cons
There are no cons, aside from the fact that this clan is kinda dead and apparently it has illegal mazes. Must be a ninja mind trick.

Dark Templars of Rhabdo Rana
Pros
You get to ride a sweet tricycle!
Cons
You don't live in Korea.

Romani
Pros
Go where you want, live where you please, follow the caravan.
Cons
Gypsies smell.

Knights of Perdition
Pros
Your clan channel will be quiet.
Cons
*AFK*

The Elemental Cabal
Pros
Nicely blended clan, decent people with a friendly atmosphere.
Cons
Not that I'd know personally, but there is a rumour that there is a funny smell around those in Cabal.

Loqui
Pros
Join the revolution! Or the goddesses? Umm...
Cons
What the hell is our theme?

The Creation of Tao
Pros
Find the way of Tao.
Cons
Meditation can get kinda boring after a few hours.

House of Touchstone
Pros
Become a stoner and live life easier, thanks to the... healing powers of stones?
Cons
Marble benchtops are quite expensive.

The Lost Rogues
Pros
A clan with plenty of growth potential...
Cons
As to whether it will reach it is another matter.

Now that you have an idea, it is time for me to make a blatant recruitment pitch.
Join the Midgaardian Publishing Group! We have cookies! And coffee! And Superman! And Spiderman! And punctuation and spelling and grammar!
Plus, Chiketa won't ask for you to be outcasted!