As an Editor at Gaardian, nothing creates a pit of trepidation in the stomach quite like an enthusiastic journalist turning in a great new story about Aardwolf becoming pay-to-play. No matter how absurdly it reads, this topic seems to confuse our readers in a way no other subject does.

So, in the spirit of continuing the confusion of the gullible and uniformed, Gaardian is preparing to implement our own Pay-Per-View system. Linked directly to your character account, Gaardian will charge a small service fee for each view of any page on our site. Those that prefer to avoid multiple small fees will have a chance to opt-in for a lifetime membership for an appropriate one-time charge. Only the Gaardian front page will be viewable to non-account holders.

In other news, still no word on wreckage found last night. It is suspected by many to be the remains of a small craft piloted by a CIA-employed, alien-hunting Bigfoot that went missing after losing communications upon entering the Bermuda Triangle.