Earlier today, a deluge of roses of every variety (both real and imagined) arrived for Gaardian Editor-In-Chief, Alhena. This reporter managed to examine the card attached, which was signed "Your secret admirer".

 

The number of bouquets Alhena received has been estimated to be at over 100. Experts are questioning whether she has over 100 secret admirers, or one very, very ardent devotee.

 

Alhena is, of course, thrilled over the attention she is getting.  However, her spouse, Oliver, is getting aggravated. He has taken to prowling the Gaardian office for Fido-Express delivery boys; these innocents bearing the brunt of his anger.

 

The Midgaard cityguards issued a restraining for Oliver at the behest of the Fido-Express Corporation.  Unfortunately, these same cityguards soon have since been admitted to the hospital, being fed through straws.  It seems that Oliver's ire knows no bounds.

 

This battle over the attention of Alhena is reaching a climax between the ardent admirer(s) and Oliver. Gaardian readers, be aware of the impending bloodbath. The remaining cityguards have been alerted of this possibility and are now patrolling the streets fervently.