Welcome back, Readers, to another saga torn from the journal of my life. This time, though,
I've set off for a new frontier instead of wading through the ruts of countless adventurer footfalls before me, like I was wearing someone else's underwear, even if they've washed it. Today we are seeking out the far lands of the Nebulous Horizons to see what there is to see. Brother Yowza provided the map to get here and I'm sure I would have gotten here faster if I hadn't made that side trip into the Killing Fields.
The first thing you'll notice is the layout of the place. It looks exactly like a dodecahedron doesn't. There are many colors to distract you and the place is just running amok with mutated creatures. Reminds me of going to one of those toddler pageants, except that I felt more comfortable here.
The air quality is pretty bad, though, like you've just walked into a designated smoker's hut in a rainstorm. Mammuph phon, frglrgin. Sorry, had to adjust my bandana so I could breathe a I've always wanted a prehensile tail like a monkeylittle better. Yeah, this place is polluted like a factory on the Ohio river. No wonder the critters are mutating. I wonder what will become of me if I stay here too long? I've always wanted a prehensile tail like a monkey, so I could wield a weapon in one hand, a shield in the other, and still have a third limb to hold my ale. Also to pick pockets.
I'm making this sound bad, like I'm a Realtor you only use because she's the wife's favorite niece's roommate's aunt, and she takes you into the worst part of town, next to the railroad tracks that lead to the airport and _may_ have been built on top of an ancient burial ground for Hell's Angels. Far from it, you hardy adventurers, (especially non-breathing types like vampires) can find plenty to whet your axe on. You barely have to turn around to rub shoulders with monsters just waiting to eat you on the half-armor.
My advice is to hold your breath and carry a big Aard Staff. Happy Trails, Readers!
P.S. Don't drink the iridescent water.
