"It was bad enough before," said Claus, 78. "There'd be queues of people round the block, waiting for the instant their twenty four hour timer was up and clamoring for attention. Half of them would be complaining because they only got 10 trains as a present, or a spellup potion. Remember when the thought used to be the thing that counted? Me neither."

"The sad thing was," he continued, "is even the ones who got what they wanted, the double experience cards and what have you, would be even worse. They'd just go all mercenary and try and persuade people to give them gold to use them. "No doubt some bastard will whine about how Hanukkah isn't represented again"Gold! They were supposed to something they could use for everyone, not just an excuse to make a cheap buck!"

This year, however, is looking to be exceptionally grim for the aging philanthropist.

"Now it's Christmas all year round. Since those Daily Blessing rolled out," he wailed, "everyone's getting better gifts than anything I ever gave out. Every. Single. Day. How am I supposed to compete with that? I'm going to be eating dogfood for my Christmas dinner if I try to keep up. Or reindeer."

Our lord and saviour Jesus Christ was unable for comment in regards to his birthday celebrations.