There are those that don't love a good natured game of lasertag.  But those people obviously have never run up a 75+ point lead in a 2-v-1 game for some QPs and a TP.

Lasertag is, admittedly, not a game for everyone.  I've won only 15 games and I am nearly in the top 200 on the rankings.  Consider that 15 gquest wins will not even get you in the top 1000 (or so I imagine.  our fact checking intern has not been found since last seen with a bottle of Cuervo and a Lady of the Underdark).  So why does Lasertag enjoy such a paucity of passion on Aardwolf?  Let's take a closer look at some of the rote complaints.

It's too hard to beat experienced players.

I find this hard to believe from a player base that eagerly enters into PK.  My first game, I was armed with nothing but some rudimentary aliases that I thought might work.  True, I do rival our Gaardian receptionist Kari when it comes to words per minute but with some quality aliases, you would only have to type two (or less) letters before you get a shot off.

I don't understand the commands.

You need to know: scan, hunt, decoy, translocate and shoot (direction) (person).  Arguably you don't even need to use translocate PEW PEW PEWand decoy and RARELY must you use hunt (unless you're playing on the wrong side of a 2v1 matchup).  My strategy is basically running around/scanning like a chicken with my head cut off and firing off when I see the opposing teams color.

I am allergic to adrenaline.

I know--you're used to doing nothing for those half hour time blocks while you are qsitting, and lasertag can cause some palpable physical effects.  Just pop another beta blocker and hit lasertag join.

PastamanT likes to get a hit, RUN TO CORNER, decoy sit while sucking thumb, if player seen then translocate NOW NOW NOW!

That quote brought to you by BobTheGreat, PastamanT's spouse and most recent lasertag teammate of mine.  This is a legitimate concern with lasertag.  Being on the lopsided team in lasertag has severe drawbacks.  In fact, it is the reason I am writing this article.  With more people interested in lasertag, the less likely there is to be a 2v1 matchup!  Plus, you may win some QPs while you play!

I welcome all comers to lasertag and will be happy to provide tips to newbies.  This facet of the game has its own forum for Seshat's sake, so get in the mix and PEW PEW PEW.