(21st December 2002) - Obyron

A Midgaardian sanitation engineer we'll call Graath has loved the sewers since first taking a job with Midgaardian City Services five years ago. His job as a repair technician has taken him far into the most forgotten corners of a portion of our fair city that most citizens take for granted.

"There's some crazy shit down there," says Graath, adding; "That's a favourite joke of mine. Just a little sanitation humour... Can I say 'shit' in a print interview?"

This writer had a chance to speak at length with Graath about his adventures in the Midgaardian sewers, and can assure you it's neither boring nor for the faint of heart. Among the things Graath has found in the sewers?

"I once found [...] a whole pack of cigarettes [that someone] must have dropped coming home from the grocery. [Also] a bundle of this really neat reflective tape that will stick to almost anything. [...] Oh, and I found city spanning miles underground full of dark elves and floating eyeballs where humans are sold as cheap slave labour and assassins wait in the shadows to slit your throat for the silvers in your pocket so they can get a cheap bottle of dragonsbreath at the next concert to come through the Lowlands. It's [expletive deleted] crazy down there, man."

I think it's high time those of us in Midgaard take a moment to thank those who ensure that our sanitation systems function properly. While public venture into the sewers is discouraged (even though the Mayor's office claims it's completely safe, and officially denies knowledge of slave sales or floating eyeballs) we can still extend a kind word and a Christmas tip to those whose job it is to help our lives run more smoothly.

So thank a Sanitation Engineer today. Once you get past the smell? They're nice folks.

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