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Ball Til You (Ice)Fall
Written by VelvetLies

 

    If you've been wondering why a gaggle of highly overpowered superheroes have been trying to sell you just about anything for a great bargain, Icefall may be the reason.

   Gaardian readers reported strange activity around their manors recently, including an increased level of activity from porch-to-porch salespeople offering everything from enchanted gear sets, tempering services, vacuum cleaners, encyclopedia sets, candy bars and wrapping paper. This on top of an already usual flurry of activity across the usual trade lines. Our investigators looked into the market behavior that might explain why the increase in supply has advanced so rapidly and to determine if the demand can keep up and match the pace.

   Many of the salespeople we spoke to muttered somewhat incoherently about something they kept referring to as "the Cost of Icefall". Despite purchasing 16 boxes of candy bars and a couple dozen rolls of the ugliest wrapping paper we've seen since the1980s, our extended conversations with these apparent veterans (or hopefuls) gave little detail.

    So if the rainbow is already made from gold (to the tune of 2,000,000,000), what could possibly be in the pot at the end that is even more desirable? Could it be a helicopter? A sonic screwdriver? Free gas for a year?

    Gaardian has the answer, but we can't tell you here. For the low, low price of 1,000,000 gold pieces, you can pre-order "Gaardian's Secret of Icefall", to be released sometime in early 2016.


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